So, I finished the story for the writing competition (writing to a very tight deadline) and submitted it my writing group for critique. It got slated (as, deep down, I knew it would). Read another story, by another writer, on the same theme (and obviously for the same comp) and it was brilliant, so-so much better than mine and so much more literary. Felt like shit.
In a slump now. Feel crap about my writing. Crap about my achievements in 2006 and, more than anything else, really frustrated with myself. I get what I think is a literary story in my head and it just comes out wrong. It's thin, the characters are undeveloped, I write to the plot, I use uninspired language or I muddle the themes. I know I can write literary fiction (as proven by the flashes I wrote for CiN) so why can't I write a full story? Why do they always fail?
The other night I started writing a short story on the train home from work. I got a first line and then the narrator's voice and I wrote and I wrote until, 1,000 words later, I was at my station and had to stop. I kept thinking about the story all night and had to get up at 2.30am to get my notebook and continue it (finished at 4.30am). Was feeling really quite positive about it. Now, in the light of my other story being slated, I feel shit and unsure.
Gah! This is horrible. I need a confidence boost. Fast