No words written last night. After another exhausting day's work we went off to a fantastic restaurant in nearby Peacehaven. It's called "The Thai Elephant" (for anyone in the Sussex area who's interested) and they have an all-you-can-eat deal for £15.80 per person (drinks not included). I expected a cold, sticky, grubby buffet type affair but it was SO much better than that. You sit at your table and order from the menu, just as you normally would in a restaurant (only there are no prices because everything's FREE...well, included in the £15.80). Anyway, I ate a disgusting amount of food last night including: chicken satay, chilli squid, chilli chicken, tempura prawns, hoi-sin duck pancakes, thai red curry and banana fritters with ice cream! I will add that all the starters were shared with four other people but I did eat far too much!
When we rolled back back I was far too sleepy (and full) to write so watched the latest episode of "The Apprentice" (don't you just love that 'TV on demand' function on cable TV. I can't get enough of it - while it's free anyway) and feel asleep on the floor at about 1.30am.
Up again at about 9.15am and my parents left at about 11am. They've (because I really can't take much credit) done a fantastic job on my flat in roughly 2.5 days. My garden no longer looks like a wilderness surrounded by tumbled-down fences (you can actually see where the garden ends and the borders start now!), I have laminate flooring in my hallway, re-fitted laminate in my living room (the planks I'd failed to fit properly near the wall) a non-rotting window in my bedroom, cables attached to the outside wall instead of flapping around in the wind, a white (instead of yellowy) living room ceiling, white (instead of yellowy) tiles in the bathroom, a clean kitchen, cracks in the walls filled with plaster, a de-cluttered bedroom (my Dad took the two spare computers and montor that had been crowding in the corner) and FINALLY my Christmas tree is up in the attic instead of propped against the airing cupboard.
There are still a lot of jobs to be done (including re-painting the living room, kitchen, hallway and bathroom) but I can do that myself and the kitchen refit should hopefully happen in 8 weeks time. I also have to do some more de-cluttering and flog everything at a car boot sale. A job for later in the summer I think.
Ah - my flat is no longer falling down round my ears. Such a nice feeling!
Anyway, enough about the flat. I just wrote about 900 words of my novel and the word count is now at 70% of novel written. I can't help but feeling, however, that I'm just churning out words now, desperate to reach the end. I need a new burst of enthusiasm. I need to feel excited about the novel again. I guess I've had a bit of an attack of the 'fears'. I'm aware that this novel will be on an agent's desk by the end of this year and I'm thinking, "what if it's not good enough?", "what if she hates it?" "what if everyone hates it?" "what if it gets published and it gets slated by readers on Amazon and reviewers in print? My name will be attached to it and everyone will think I'm a crap writer." ooooohHH wibble, wibble, wibble.
This is a normal feeling right? Everyone feels like this? Even successful, published authors?
What I need is a short story hit to boost my confidence.