No words written on Friday night. 578 words written on Saturday night and 1,279 words written tonight.
YWriter tells me I need to write 522 words a day to hit 90,000 words by 15 July (my self-imposed deadline) but, as I've mentioned before I think this novel will probably be more like 95,000 words (if not more) so I have to make a massive effort to write more like 700-900 words a day just in case the total word count for my novel does go up to a potential 95,000-100,000 words.
I thought this part of the novel (the ending) would fly by but my word count seems to have slowed massively. I'm not sure if it's because I'm doubting whether or not the potential readers of my novel would buy the ending of my book or whether I'm trying to put off finishing it because I'm scared of what happens when I do finish it. Because that's when I have to revise the novel and send it out into the ether for agents to judge. That's when I'll find out whether anyone, other than me, thinks it's any good and that's a scary thought. I know that if it isn't good enough and it gets rejected by every agent I send it to I'll just go ahead and write another novel and send that out but I don't want that to happen. I want this novel to be snapped up. I want this novel to be loved. I don't want this novel to be a 'learning experience'.
I know what the answer is. The answer is to stop bloody thinking so much and just write it but it's easier said than done!
Why did no one ever tell me when I was a child (when the idea of becoming an novelist first appealed to me) that trying to become a publisher author was this damned scary?!