Someone in one of my writing communities recieved this book for Christmas:
and posted a few examples from the book. They made me smile so much I had to reproduce them here (the last one is the best).
You know you're a writer when...
You'll never forgive your parents for your happy childhood
You have kept every letter you ever received and copies of every letter you've ever sent, for when you're famous
Something bad happens to a friend and you're glad she's not a writer, so you can use it
You watch your husband intently while he reads your pieces. When he laughs, you say "What part are you up to?"
You're at the movies when you get an idea for your novel, so you scratch it into the bottom of your popcorn cup with a car key
You read with a pen in your hand and scan the newspaper holding scissors
Writing is the only thing that makes you happy, and you hate writing.