First things first. I've got a question for you...
If I were to say to you, "Fake or real?" what would you think I was asking about?
Hold that answer in your head.
The conversation started off innocently enough with a discussion about who'd bought an artificial Christmas tree and who'd bought a real one. We discussed the number of people needed to carry a real tree home, the maximum distance you could be expected to lug it without the help of a car or taxi, and how many months you can expect to be sweeping up pine needles after Christmas is over.
Then the conversation swiftly changed to another subject.
About an hour later one of my male colleagues turned back to us (myself and two female colleagues).
"It's unanimous," he said.
"Sorry?" we chorused.
"On the fake verse real debate," he said.
"Sorry?" we repeated.
"All the boys are in agreement."
Three brows knitted in confusion.
"About fake verses real," he said. "And what that conjures up."
"Boobs!" I said.
Male workmate nodded. My two female colleagues did not.
"We thought you were talking about orgasms," they said.
I raised an eyebrow. "Surely everyone thinks boobs when asked 'fake or real?'"
"I immediately thought orgasms," said female colleague to my right.
"Why don't you ask that bloke what he thinks," suggested female colleague to my left, pointing to a gay gentleman on the next table.
The colleague to my right tapped the guy at the next table on the shoulder.
"Excuse me?" she said. "If someone were to say 'fake or real' to you what would you think they were talking about?"
"Handbags," he said.