Friday, 12 December 2008

Fake vs Real (aka the bizarre conversations you have at your work Christmas do)

First things first. I've got a question for you...

If I were to say to you, "Fake or real?" what would you think I was asking about?

Hold that answer in your head.

The conversation started off innocently enough with a discussion about who'd bought an artificial Christmas tree and who'd bought a real one. We discussed the number of people needed to carry a real tree home, the maximum distance you could be expected to lug it without the help of a car or taxi, and how many months you can expect to be sweeping up pine needles after Christmas is over.

Then the conversation swiftly changed to another subject.

About an hour later one of my male colleagues turned back to us (myself and two female colleagues).

"It's unanimous," he said.

"Sorry?" we chorused.

"On the fake verse real debate," he said.

"Sorry?" we repeated.

"All the boys are in agreement."

Three brows knitted in confusion.

"About fake verses real," he said. "And what that conjures up."

"Boobs!" I said.

Male workmate nodded. My two female colleagues did not.

"We thought you were talking about orgasms," they said.

I raised an eyebrow. "Surely everyone thinks boobs when asked 'fake or real?'"

They shrugged.

"I immediately thought orgasms," said female colleague to my right.

"Why don't you ask that bloke what he thinks," suggested female colleague to my left, pointing to a gay gentleman on the next table.

The colleague to my right tapped the guy at the next table on the shoulder.

"Excuse me?" she said. "If someone were to say 'fake or real' to you what would you think they were talking about?"

"Handbags," he said.


HelenMH said...

That's hilarious!

womagwriter said...


Me - I have the real thang. Trees, boobs and ...ahem.

Anonymous said...

With me it's a mixture of real, fake, or just missing altogether.

JJ said...

LOL. I'm with the gay man on the table next to you, but then I do live in Bangkok: home of the fake handbag!

Paige said...

Love it! lol!

I thought of boobs.

Debs said...

That's so funny! Brilliant.

Vodka Mom said...

oh jesus that was a GREAT story.

dammit, I thought orgasms as well.

Vodka Mom said...

and, yeah. I'm all real.

KAREN said...

How funny! I would have said boobs too - not that I have, but my tree is definitely fake :o)

Leon Basin said...

Hey, there! How are you?

KayJay said...

That's so funny! Yep, I thought tits.