Friday, 19 August 2011

Best excuse ever for not writing...

I sliced open a tendon in my left thumb whilst trying to remove a food processor blade from the dishwasher!

Yesterday I was on an operating table, wide awake, as the tendon was sewn back together (huge kudos to the Plastics team at Frenchay hospital, Bristol who saw me so quickly and made the whole experience stress free).

Considering how small the initial cut was (about 1cm) it's amazing I managed to do so much damage. The gignormous cast on my arm is to stop me from moving my thumb in the wrong direction and breaking the tendon sutures (eek!) and it's held in place above my heart by a collar and cuff sling! hopefully it'll come off in the next couple of weeks and I'll get a splint instead. In 5 weeks time I'm allowed to hold something the weight of a cup of tea and in 7 weeks something the weight of a filled kettle.

So yeah, this little mishap (my first visit to hospital in 22 years - the last time was to have teeth out!) has pretty much put paid to my 70k in 7 weeks plan for Project B. I was doing so well too, 12,000/70,000 words written longhand in less than a week and a half! Hmmm...pride comes before a fall and all that.

My new plan (as I am left handed and can't write with my right hand) is to explore voice recognition software and transcribe what I've written so far and then add to it if I can. I've ordered 'Dragon' software from Amazon which should hopefully arrive soon. This blog entry, btw, is being typed with one finger of my right hand. I'm a touch typist normally so this is pretty slow going for me! Not much I can do about the cross stitch I was working on before the accident and I guess knitting is out too!

While I spend the next 5 weeks recuperating if anyone can suggest how on EARTH you can do up a bra one handed (or butter toast, or slice an egg or any of the other myriad of things you don't realise you need 2 hands for until you only have one!) do please let me know!

One bit of news to cheer me up this morning - my agent emailed to tell me that Heaven Can Wait is a bestseller in China. Yay!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad


Captain Black said...

I hope you recover soon. In the mean time, I'm sure you can persuade some of your love slaves to type up your writing for you.

With regard to the dressing thing, I've seen a trick where a woman made a bra appear out of one sleeve. It may even have been done one-handed. All you have to do is reverse the process.

Bernadette said...

Oh dear that does sound horrible. Poor you - I hope it's better soon.

Could you try doing the bra up first and pulling it on like a t-shirt?

Putting the butter in a shallow dish and swiping the toast across it?

Eating the egg whole?

Or, even better, getting someone lovely to do it all for you?

We don't realise how dependent we are on having all our bits in working order until something goes wrong, do we?


womagwriter said...

You poor thing - sounds very nasty.

Keep your bra done up and pull it on and off over your head, stuffing your boobs into it. Mum's been unable to do her bra up for years - Dad always did it then when he died she had no choice but to invent this method!! Mind you with one arm in plaster it'll be tricky getting your arms through as well.

I wouldn't listen to Captain Black re poking your bra up your sleeve and hoping it'll wriggle itself around to the right place. What do men know anyway?

Karen said...

Ooh I had to read that without looking as it makes me go all funny. I sliced the tip off my little finger with a new-fangled vegetable peeler last year and had to go to hosptial, but it sort of grew back - though the tip is permanently numb now!

Voice recognition software sounds like a good idea, and congratulations on being a bestselling author in China :o)

Mama J said...

For the first time EVER I am glad I don't have room in my kitchen for a dishwasher. Feel all quesy now so I don't know how I'd cope in your shoes! You are a braver chick than me.

HelenMHunt said...

You poor, poor thing. Getting lots of people to help you with all of those things is the only way forward I can think of xxx

Debs Carr said...

Good grief, what a nightmare for you. Hope your tendon heals well and those weeks of recovery fly by for you. x

DOT said...


Best seller in China? Get Ang Lee of Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon fame to direct the movie. I'd watch it.

Beth Kemp said...

Oooh, that's awful. You're right about the amazing amount of damage (and subsequent palaver) from such a small inital cut.

I do hope you're getting plenty of help, and agree that Captain Black's bra advice is probably not the best...

Appropriately the word verification thingy could be a weird spelling of 'ouch'.

Cally said...

Captn - that's a little 'trick' women sharing a room with other people perform to maintain modesty whilst getting dressed/undressed. Think it's impossible to reverse!

Bernadette - you're spot on. You so don't realise how much you take good health/working body parts for granted until you're ill/damaged.

Womag - I just tried your method this morning (with the addition of a bra extender to make the back bigger) and a non underwired bra and it WORKED! Fab! Feel like I have some of my independence back ( boyfriend is pleased to be relieved of his position as bra fastener extraordinaire

Karen - ouch! Sounds like you suffered some nerve damage. If I hadn't had the op I would never have been able to straighten my thumb.

Mama J - it's probably no coincidence that the first time I do myself a danger with a sharp implement coincides with the first time I have owned a dishwasher!

Helen - boyfriend is doing the brunt of looking after (don't tell him but I could get used to being waited on! ;))

Debs - thank you!

Dot - your profile pic made me wince! ;) Would LOVE to see a film of HCW, don't care who directs it!

Beth - yup, it really is ridiculous how small the initial cut was. Think my surgery scar may be a bit more impressive tho,!

Annabel Banks said...

Oh my. I'm so sorry for you. You're being very brave. But congratulations on the China sales!